… The inner experience of an erômenos would be characterized, we may imagine, by a feeling of proud self-sufficiency. He will allow the lover to greet him by touching, affectionately, his genitals and his face, while he looks, himself, demurely at the ground. He will smile sweetly at the admiring lover he will show appreciation for the other's friendship, advice, and assistance.
He is aware of his attractiveness, but self-absorbed in his relationship with those who desire him. In The Fragility of Goodness, Martha Nussbaum, following Dover, defines the ideal erômenos asĪ beautiful creature without pressing needs of his own. In poetry and philosophical literature, the erômenos is often an embodiment of idealized youth a related ideal depiction of youth in Archaic culture was the kouros, the long-haired male statuary nude. Another word used by the Greeks for the younger sexual participant was paidika, a neuter plural adjective ("things having to do with children") treated syntactically as masculine singular. As an indication of physical maturity, the erômenos was sometimes as tall as or taller than the older erastês, and may have his first facial hair. Most evidence indicates that to be an eligible erômenos, a youth would be of an age when an aristocrat began his formal military training, that is, from fifteen to seventeen. Both art and other literary references show that the erômenos was at least a teen, with modern age estimates ranging from 13 to 20, or in some cases up to 30. The word can be understood as an endearment such as a parent might use, found also in the poetry of Sappho and a designation of only relative age. The pais was regarded as a future citizen, not an "inferior object of sexual gratification", and was portrayed with respect in art. An erômenos can also be called pais, "child". The word erômenos, or "beloved" (ἐρώμενος, plural eromenoi), is the masculine form of the present passive participle from erô, viewed by Dover as the passive or subordinate sexual participant. The erastês himself might only be in his early twenties, and thus the age difference between the two males who engage in sexual activity might be negligible. Although the word pais can refer to a child of either sex, paiderastia is defined by Liddell and Scott's Greek-English Lexicon as "the love of boys", and the verb paiderasteuein as "to be a lover of boys".
It is formed from paiderastês, which in turn is a compound of pais ("child", plural paides) and erastês (see below). The Greek word paiderastia ( παιδεραστία) is an abstract noun. Erastês should be distinguished from Greek paiderastês, which meant "lover of boys" usually with a negative connotation. In Dover's strict dichotomy, the erastês ( ἐραστής, plural erastai) is the older sexual actor, seen as the active or dominant participant, with the suffix -tês (- τής) denoting agency. Both words derive from the Greek verb erô, erân, "to love" see also eros. Since the publication in 1978 of Kenneth Dover's work Greek Homosexuality, the terms erastês and erômenos have been standard for the two pederastic roles. Kouros representing an idealized youth, c. 530 BCE The English word " pederasty" in present-day usage might imply the abuse of minors in certain jurisdictions, but Athenian law, for instance, recognized both consent and age as factors in regulating sexual behavior. Scholars have debated the role or extent of pederasty, which is likely to have varied according to local custom and individual inclination. The argument has recently been made that idealization was universal in the Archaic period criticism began in Athens as part of the general Classical Athenian reassessment of Archaic culture. Pederasty was both idealized and criticized in ancient literature and philosophy. It has no formal existence in the Homeric epics, and seems to have developed in the late 7th century BCE as an aspect of Greek homosocial culture, which was characterized also by athletic and artistic nudity, delayed marriage for aristocrats, symposia, and the social seclusion of women. Some scholars locate its origin in initiation ritual, particularly rites of passage on Crete, where it was associated with entrance into military life and the religion of Zeus.
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The influence of pederasty on Greek culture of these periods was so pervasive that it has been called "the principal cultural model for free relationships between citizens." It was characteristic of the Archaic and Classical periods. Pederasty in ancient Greece was a socially acknowledged romantic relationship between an older male (the erastes) and a younger male (the eromenos) usually in his teens. The man on the right tries to kiss the youth with whom he is sharing a couch. Pederastic couples at a symposium, as depicted on a tomb fresco from the Greek colony of Paestum in Italy.